As I continually learn more about the public policy issues surrounding domestic violence, it strikes me that all too often, and despite years of education, we still judge people too quickly based on stereotypes rather than on individual circumstances. We assume that everyone else thinks the way we do, will encounter the same life difficulties we do and can also solve their problems the same way we do. But we should heed the old adage that in order to understand how a person thinks, we must first walk a mile in their shoes.

Sex Discrimination. . . A Human Issue, Not a Gender Issue
Mountain Valley News (6/15/06)
By Justin Kibbe

Sex discrimination occurs towards both men and women. But the government, media and academia largely ignore anti-male discrimination, which feeds into the larger problem of gender stereotypes. One organization that looks at the ways sex discrimination affects men and boys is The National Coalition of Free Men.

Attorney Marc Angelucci joined The National Coalition of Free Men while still a student at UCLA Law. Throughout his years in law school, he dreamed of starting a Los Angeles chapter of NCFM, and in 2000, after he graduated, he did just that.

“Men are frequently discriminated against in family courts, child custody, domestic violence policies, the selective service, criminal sentencing, prostate cancer and public health policies, auto and life insurance, as well as others,” Angelucci said.

An example of this discrimination is California Health and Safety Code Section 124250, which provides funding for domestic violence victims, including hotel arrangements, legal services, counseling, court advocacy, shelter, etc., for women, not men. Most state-funded shelters in California, especially Southern California, will not even give men a hotel arrangement that would enable them to leave their abusive situation.

Angelucci notes other examples where men are discriminated against: “The Forced Labour Convention of 1930, now ratified by 168 nations including the U.S., forbids forced labor as a human rights violation, but then, in article 11, it exempts, "able-bodied males" between ages 18 and 45. Millions and millions of men are currently forced into labor worldwide under this exemption, and absolutely nobody cares or objects to it because of the attitude that "men have everything" or that men aren't discriminated against. In reality, men are routinely discriminated against in areas that involve their gender role as protector/provider and as the disposable sex, such as in child custody, family courts, military drafts ––women have supported wars as much as men have, historically–– criminal sentencing, domestic violence, public health policies, welfare benefits, and many other areas.”

“Sexism cuts both ways, and we cannot end it by addressing only half of it,” he said.

Seeking to make laws gender-neutral, The National Coalition of Free Men uses legal, educational and organizational approaches to raise awareness about men's issues as part of a growing, global men's movement.

"We need to drop the gender politics and realize that this is a human issue and not a gender issue," Angelucci said. "Everyone needs service and treatment when they're victimized."

Most, if not all, other states have gender-neutral language for their similar funding statutes on domestic violence. New York uses gender-inclusive language, "men and women," which is even better than the gender-neutral "victims".  But that doesn't mean the shelter programs offer equal services, especially when it comes to residential housing. Some shelters offer hotel arrangements to men if they won't take men, but most do not.

The federal Violence Against Women Act is partly gender-neutral and partly gender-specific. This year, The National Coalition of Free Men –along with volunteer groups– are working to add a gender-neutrality clause in the VAWA that recognizes male victims and requires VAWA-funded programs to be gender-neutral. Even the title of “Violence Against Women Act” is discriminatory.

But current California Health & Safety Code § 124250 denies men the right to receive state-funded services –including shelter, hotel vouchers, counseling and court advocacy. Consequently, male victims are shut out of vital state-funded services state-wide. The only shelter in Southern California that does shelter men is the Valley Oasis shelter in Lancaster, which shelters both male and female victims.

Every year, more than 835,000 men are victims of domestic abuse in the United States, according to the National Violence Against Women Survey, sponsored by the Department of Justice. Most other studies show that women initiate domestic violence as often as men do. And, according to the California Research Bureau, more than 4,000 (36 percent of total victims) men seek domestic violence shelter-based services every year in California.

Children are also harmed by having to witness years of violence –violence that could be avoided if fathers received the services they needed. Children are often the greatest victims in these cases.

"When victims don't receive the help they need, the violence often escalates, and children who witness it can be emotionally damaged," Angelucci said. And their chances of being physically harmed increase each time they witness a violent domestic dispute.

The National Coalition of Free Men currently has a lawsuit pending against the State of California to make the Health and Safety Code gender-neutral. Past lawsuits were dismissed only on jurisdiction and standing grounds. NCFM is also working with legislators on the issue.

To learn more about The National Coalition of Free Men, visit NCFM.org. Men who are in an abusive situation should first call the police. L.A. County has a domestic violence crisis hotline: (800) 978-3600. There is also a national Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women, which is very friendly to male victims and works closely with NCFM. To reach them, call (888) 7HELPLINE.